In the wilderness

Have you ever had a wilderness experience?

I’m not talking about the long-hike-in-the-woods, sleep-under-the-stars, eat-s’mores-by-a-campfire kind of wilderness experience.

I’m talking about the-whole-universe-is-against-you, a-dark-cloud-follows-you-everywhere-you-go (like Pigpen from The Peanuts Gang), all-you-want-to-do-is-stay-under-the-covers-and-sulk kind of wilderness experience.

Well, lately, I’ve been having one of those not-so-great wilderness experiences. I hope to share more details with you in a later post, but to sum things up: This week, my day job has been a little frustrating (I’m sure you’ve never experienced this, ha!); I’ve been hurt recently by some people I love and care about very much (I’m sure you’ve never experienced this either, ha!); my church ministry has lost its luster; my blog numbers aren’t where I think they should be; a door may be closing on an income opportunity I was very excited about; my house is a mess; and, for the icing on the cake, I haven’t been feeling very well or been motivated to change any of these situations. So, I’ve basically been throwing a big, fat pity party for myself complete with leftover Easter candy and Gardners chocolate-covered cherries. (Did I mention I’ve also gained five pounds?)

During my daily lunch walk and talk with God today, I lamented to Him about my current state of affairs, and then I asked … well … for help to get through all this. And in His all-too-familiar, still, small voice, He spoke to me.

“Susan, I want you to pray for the people you believe have wronged you,” He said. Sheesh. So, through gritted teeth, I did just that. It’s amazing how difficult it is to stay mad at people when you are offering intercessory prayer on their behalf.

Then He brought to my mind Galatians 5:22-23 – “But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, gentleness, goodness, faith, meekness, temperance: against such there is no law.”

Longsuffering (patience) … gentleness … temperance (self-restraint, self-control, self-denial, self-discipline) …

These are all virtues that I need in my life and very often lack.

“I need you to bear fruit in these areas,” He tells me. “Praise Me for loving you enough to not leave you as you are …”

And as I come to terms with the fact that I am in a season of waiting … of growth … of longsuffering, I’m reminded of one of my favorite characters of the Bible: Joseph. Joseph’s story is told in Genesis (chapters 37-45). Joseph walked closely with God, but still experienced great sorrow in his life. He was betrayed by his brothers, sold into slavery, and even thrown into prison for a long time. Yet, “the LORD was with Joseph and gave him success in whatever he did.” – Gen. 39:23. Joseph didn’t waver in His faith. In his darkest hours, he still glorified and honored God, believing He would deliver and vindicate him.

Although I could never compare my measly problems with the hardships Joseph experienced in his life, I can claim the promise that God rewards and blesses those who faithfully serve and obey Him. But the rewards come in His timing, not mine.

So I’m not going to stay under the covers, gossip about my co-workers or complain about my circumstances. I’m going to praise God for walking me through this valley. I can only imagine what’s on the other side of the mountain!

Have you walked in the wilderness lately? If so, what was on the other side? Are you still waiting to find out?

I’m linking up to … Women Living Well.